Hell On Heels

someone once told me “when you feel lost, ask your spirit guides for a sign you can recognize”. Well lately, all signs point to “this should have worked out”. As I let him go and start to embrace the people in my life who choose to want to take me as i am, choose to want to get to know me, choose to like me and be vulnerable to me, i start to feel like i see signs telling me this was supposed to work between us. Then i realize its probably just my brain holding on to something that was a wish, never real. Well, I guess i tried as hard as i could to break you down and get you to see me for who i really was. Some people can’t be broken, they are too afraid to let people in, for fear of pain. I guess that’s ok. I will miss him, I really enjoyed the person he was. I’m going to embrace this next person, like i never got hurt, and start ignoring these signs i think are there. Hey, signs, I tried as fucking hard as I could to get him to love me and let me in, he refused. So maybe leave me alone…and let me move on? K thanks. What’s done is done, there is no looking back. If they wont fight for you, they aren’t worth fighting for.

Pathetic
Needy
Vulnerable
….

you make me feel  used,

you make me feel needy.

you make me feel so girly.

you make me annoyed.

you make me unhappy.

i’m sick of wanting things you’ll never give me.

1. I have a totally healthy obsession with Taylor Swift.

2. I had the time of my life living in San Diego.

3. I don’t think I’m capable on cheating in a relationship.

4. I love creating hairstyles and coloring hair….

5. I don’t ever live up to my potential because I never really had to.

6. I have loved someone, but I have never been in love.

7. I always want what I can’t have.

8. I wish i had thicker hair.

9. I want to go to Europe.

10. I really like cats, unfortunately.

11. I have learned that all i know is to be alone, i’m not sure how to factor people into my life very well.

12. I believe the best in people until force to see their worst.

13. I have more than one best friend. I know this is possible because the one night i needed them all, they came.

14. I spent 5 years pining for someone. Now they are pining for me.

15. I hate that I fall for the most inconvient people.

16. It shouldnt be this hard.

17. I could go the rest of my life never drinking alcohal again.

18. I could also go the rest of my life never speaking to my sister again.

20. I love the color teal.

21. My body is a canvas.

22. I am completely guarded, but i wear my emotions on my sleeve.

Have no expectations and never be disappointed.

honestly, youre a fucking douche bag.